Waiting

I come online and I wait... and wait... and wait. Seconds turn to minutes, and minutes turn to hours. I wait. 

Until finally I see a green dot next to your name. Finally you're online! 

Now what?

Sometimes I want to text you, sometimes I don't. But whether I want to or not, I cannot. "Stop texting", "Stop talking to me"; how many times have you broken my heart? You had so unceremoniously brought our connection to an end - love, friendship, whatever it was. 

I can no longer text you.

"Just leave him for some time," my friends advised.

I have no choice but to do that.

I sit here and wait for you to come online, just to see that green dot next to your name. But I'll never text you. Instead, I brood over the past, the days when you and I were friends, when we talked so much and I had so much fun. 

Sometimes it hurts, seeing you online. It hurts so much to see that green dot next to your name that I go offline.

Will you ever text me? Will you ever see my worth? Will you ever come around? I already know the answer to all this, yet I wait anyway, clinging to some false hope. 

And the worst torture I could inflict upon myself is the waiting.

The hardest part about waiting is you never know how long you'll be standing here. You never know if it will be for a while, or forever. 

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This is just a sad little piece of writing... I think the setting is pretty easy to understand. Tell me what you think in the comments!

Whatever Happened To Forever?

This next poem is about a breakup. The topic was suggested by a friend for another friend. I imagine this is a question all people ask themselves when they think of their exes and their breakups. 

Whatever Happened To Forever?

A promise had been made.

A promise between two lovers.

Sealed with a kiss, it was

A promise of forever.

A promise that no matter what,

Which way the wind may blow,

The train would travel on straight tracks –

But little did they know

Somewhere along the way

Their paths diverged,

Their hearts – they swayed –

And love seemed purged.

A little rock looked like a hill,

A puddle seemed a lake,

Neither would scale or cross

And their love distance did take.

And finally a bridge broke down,

No longer could they bear

The misunderstandings, broken trust,

And all was gone, they swear.

So now they each gaze out upon

A starry night and wonder,

Whatever happened to forever?

And silence will answer.

"Whatever happened to forever?" Ask that all you want, and only silence will answer.

Sometimes life deals you cruel cards - a spell of happiness and then sorrow that shows you you had been standing in quick sand staring at the sky... Harsh. I know. 

What's worse is when it's a situation in which there is absolutely nothing we can do. That's why my favorite lines in this poem is the last bit: gazing out at the stars and asking yourself whatever happened to 'forever', and only silence will answer. There's a lot of questions this could apply to, most of them questions about why something happened. The only consolation we have is believing that God, or the greater force in this universe, or fate - whatever you believe in - has some other plan for us and this was a lesson, a learning experience for us.

If Only

This was a poem requested by my friend Raj!

It's about a guy who had a crush on a girl, but since she already had a boyfriend he became her best friend. At some point of time, the girl broke up with her boyfriend but the guy, though her best friend, didn't know until much later. When he found out, he was planning to confess his love for her - but before the day he planned on telling her he loved her, someone else asked her out and she got a new boyfriend. 

The poem If Only expresses his regret at not telling her earlier, and sings the sorrows of his tale.


IF ONLY:
Had heaven sent
An angel to me?
A person who set
My heart free?
You, my dear,
Are that blessed angel,
And it wasn't long
Before I fell.
But alas, your heart
Had been courted
By another, so confessing
To you? Mission aborted!
But then a ray of hope
Shone through the sky
For me, not you, because
Your courter said goodbye.
But though your best friend,
I didn't know,
Till it was too late
And you were gone in time's flow.
I had been planning
Every second, every hour,
Every agonizing day,
To scourge up the power
To tell you how I felt,
To tell you what you mean to me,
But alas, it was too late -
Wish I told you before; if only!
And I watch you
All the time 
When you blush,
When you smile,
Seeing your adorableness
Nullifies the laws
Of even gravitation,
For my heart is soaring above.
Except when I see
That the reason you smile
Is the one who stole you away,
The reason you aren't mine.
For it is in those times
That behind my smile 
I hide my pain deep down,
In a struggle-some trial.
And if only you could see
How much i care for you,
If only I had the guts
Sooner to tell you...
If only, if only,
I whine to myself.
It tears away at me,
But nothing can be done.

I hope you enjoyed this poem!
Comment below what you think, and share it with your friends too!

What Part Of Us Dies?

This is a poem I wrote when I wondered what part of us dies each time we feel sad, angry, hurt, or heartbroken. What part of us is really crying when tears wet out eyelashes? Some other part of us is feeling pain. Our hands might shiver, our heart may ache, our mind may split into a million pieces. And then there is our soul - something we cannot touch but we can feel. What part of us dies? What part of us cries? What part of us hopes? What part of us hurts? What part of us REALLY feels all this?

WHAT PART OF US DIES?
What part of us dies,
When we feel sad?
What part of us cries;
The eyes, or the cold hand?
What part of us chokes
When we are forced to grow up?
What part of us hopes
That the child is still within us?
What part of us trembles
Under the weight
Of the boulder in our heart
With the acceptance of fate?
What part of us suffers
When our stomach is in knots
And the fears we can't escape
Attack in an avalanche?
What part of us dies
With the passage of time?
What part of us tries
To smile and say "I'm fine"?
What part of us dies
When dreams are crushed?
What part of us cries
When sadness hurts?

My favorite line in this poem is the very last one: What part of us cries when sadness hurts?
I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes sadness can cause you even physical pain. It's horrible. But I want each of you to know this: No matter how hard the struggle, each of us will bounce back. Eventually we will each find happiness. Till then, you must hold on. Be patient for what is coming. Do not try to resist the sadness - let it take over in waves. But when you are done crying... You will feel lighter hearted, and stronger. The sadness will slowly fade away. 
Everything will be okay.

Palace Of Lies

This poem is very similar to another poem I wrote a while ago (Sandcastle Dream). The fundamental difference though, is that Sandcastle Dream was fundamentally about daydreaming to a destructive extent, whereas the following poem is hoping to a destructive extent. Both the poems are connected in concept.

PALACE OF LIES:

You built a palace

Upon lies,

One over another

Till it all ties.

You believed a droplet

Was a big lake,

All along knowing

Everything was fake.

And still these lies

Come pouring in

From heart, from soul,

From everything,

And you refuse to accept

Reality, and all the signs

Pointing you the other way –

Away from this path riddled with mines.

This palace built

Upon such lies

Your heart believes,

Your mind denies,

Will leave you broken,

Yet even then

Will you still believe?

Will hope defend?

Tell me what you thought of this poem!

Smudged Goodbye

When a goodbye is coming, one would have planned something - what final words to say to people one doesn't really want to part from. But then what would happen if they suddenly say they will not be showing up that day? It then puts you at unrest: the plans you had been making till now - what will become of them? It then becomes a smudged goodbye. Something you planned, and planned, and planned, and thought about a hundred times - and never got to say.

SMUDGED GOODBYE:

Moments I had been waiting for

With dread, and bated breath,

Moments I’ve counted down

Each passing day with courage,

All the while planning

For whatever I might say

And how I might execute

Whatever plan I may…

And suddenly you tell me

That you won’t be showing up

And that your decision is final

And that nothing can be done,

That you don’t care at all

For all the people and memories

And you stomp my plans into

The ground, killing dreams with ease.

I was sitting here and in my mind

I planned so many things, my dear,

To say to you that final day –

Words I hoped you’d finally hear.

All I can think of now

Is how much I will regret

That smudged goodbye I’ll never say,

That speech I’ll never forget.

How Could You?

THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!!!

My last board exam finished on March 21st!

I AM NOW OFFICIALLY DONE WITH 12TH STANDARD AND OFFICIALLY DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL AND SCHOOL LIFE!!!

Now I have a biiiiig summer break before college starts! This is gonna be awesome!

So let's start where we left off with the lineup of poetry I have to post here.

I don't remember when I wrote this one... 

HOW COULD YOU?

How could you mean

So much to me

That you are everything

I see?

How could you mean

The world to me,

How could love be

Still exciting?

How could I simply

Forget to breathe

And want to stare at your eyes

For eternity?

How could you be

So everything

That nothing else

Means anything?

How could a simple 

Thing like texting

Put a smile here

On my face instantly?

How could you, how could you?

I ask to myself.

Why do you, why do you

Love someone else?

Yes it's another unrequited love poem.