Stalemate

Stalemate is a poem that depicts two sides of unrequited love. In this case, it is the girl who loves a boy who does not reciprocate her feelings. Still she stays to watch over him in case he may ever need something. Meanwhile, he doesn't want her there. He doesn't need her. He feels her presence a burden. Neither of them can change their feelings for the other. Neither of them wins, and thus the title.

STALEMATE:

Like an angel silently waiting,

I looked after him,

To catch him when he falls,

Continuously hovering over him.

He had an umbrella up though

To hide himself away,

So I cried when I was unable to help

Because I couldn't see him any day.

"Love I tried to pour from the heavens

Did not reach his heart I only yearned to protect."

She continuously hovered over me

Like a constant, tormenting reminder

Of my decision everyone hated me for,

My decision to reject her.

I put up an umbrella to shield myself from her

And prevent her from coming close

Because I wanted her gone

And didn't trust someone who understood me the worst.

"Chase me as she might, I'll run

Because only a fool would love me."

"Don't keep breaking my heart."

"Don't make me break your heart again."

"I can't stop loving you."

"I just can't see you that way."

Stalemate.

I honestly think this poem is extremely heartbreaking. If you feel that way too, let me know! Feel free to comment and share!

Love Told Me

We are all slaves of love, when we feel the strength and power of these feelings. They say people in love do stupid things - I partially agree. People in love are strong and weak at the same time. These feelings command us. The advise us, take control of us, and we obey them diligently. Love, personified in this poem, is our leader, who commands us to continue to care and to stay after painful things have happened. We may seem stupid, but that is the strength of our love, of our feelings. We do it because Love told us.

Love Told Me:

I didn’t plan on anything

From the moment I stepped into your vicinity,

But it happened – in a moment

A hope for affinity.

And when I saw what I thought

Was a sign we are alike,

Love told me to care about you,

And a passion burned in my psyche.

The first time I thought

You could never reciprocate,

Love told me to seek out the gods

And my prayers in them invocate.

When I sat there denying

I had any real feelings,

Love lucidly commanded

I trust in its proceedings.

I heard its voice –

Clear, firm, irrefutable,

And it made me trust in Love

And hope for the impossible.

When I was rejected

And nursing heart’s wound,

Love patched it up

With feelings of a stronger tune.

When friends advised me

To let go and move on,

Love said I can’t and

My heart became a weeping swan.

When I was told my feelings

Would fade away into nothingness,

Love surprised me by revealing

Its strength in infiniteness.

And when I doubt and I fear

That this may not be love,

Love reassured me

Of what it was made of.

Love taught me that

The heart is not a fickle thing

When it comes to the one

For whom with love it will sing.

Love told me it is titanium –

No, it is a diamond shield

Around my heart within which

Its ocean of feelings are sealed.

And when all fate seemed

Against me, Love gave

A nonexistent sliver of hope

To which I became a slave.

When it became clear

That for now I won’t succeed,

I decided to wait

Because Love told me.

All that Anxiety for Nothing

Imagine you plan to do something special for someone for a long time. You've been planning this for day, or months even. And then nothing goes according to plan. You fail. You have done nothing. 

How would you feel?

The following poem depicts how someone planned to put aside time to call someone on their birthday but then things didn't go as planned - the person couldn't pick up. 

All that Anxiety for Nothing:

Months before I planned this.

When my plans had miscalculations, I made sacrifices.

Months ago I planned this.

Months ago.

I made my preparations

Carefully, thoughtfully,

And I sat there waiting for the moment to come,

Sat there waiting with trepidation.

Heart beating fast for an hour,

Fear gripping my mind,

Thinking and overthinking every possibility in my head,

Shaking and imploding from within.

Yet by now I know

Nothing ever goes

According to plan,

Especially with you.

So of course I had a Plan B,

And of course I didn’t feel bad –

I shouldn’t… So why is it

That I still regret it not going as planned?

Ah, how I longed to hear your voice again.

How I longed to speak with you!

How I feared I might explode from happiness

When you said “Hello” again…

And I look back at the time I wasted,

Shaking and imagining worst-case scenarios

And I knew it was all in vain –

All that anxiety for nothing.

Yet I knew this gesture

Wasn’t about me – no, it’s you

Who I planned carefully and thoughtfully for,

To say Happy Birthday.

And even though the Plan B was to just text the birthday wishes and not be too bothered about this, you still felt sad you couldn't hear their voice again... Something you were really looking forward to... 

The Search for the Key

The Search for the Key:

I know I said I’d leave,

But I didn’t.

I couldn’t.

I’m sorry.

I know you said love doesn’t exist,

At least not at this age,

So I’ll be here until you’re ready,

Until you’ve reached that age.

And if at that time

I still love you,       

You’ll know it was real,

You’ll know it was true.

I’ve been hurt so much

By the things you said;

I loved you despite

What in return you fed.

You’ve put up a wall

And hidden in your shell,

You won’t let me in

When I ring the doorbell.

The door is locked,

You’ve locked me out;

You won’t give me the key

Or benefit of the doubt.

You don’t trust me

Even though I’ve said

I’ll never hurt you

Until the end.

I tried to duplicate the key

Through any information I gained;

The keyhole remains

Still locked, but now tear-stained.

I know I said I’d leave.

I couldn’t let you go though.

I’m sorry, I’m still trying,

And day by day my love only grows.

I can’t go on.

My First Published Story and New Blog

I got an on-campus job as a student writer for the Barrett Website. For those of you who don't know, Barrett is the Honors college at ASU. 

My job is to interview successful Barrett students and write up stories on what they've done.

My first story was on a girl named Madeleine Holler, who is a freshman journalism student just like me. In fact, she's my classmate in one of my classes this semester!

Read to find out more: Maddie Holler Combines Pageantry with Honors Studies

Another announcement I have is that, in case you have not heard already, I have started another blog with my friend Sarah, called An American Learning Indian Culture! Make sure you read that blog too!