All that Anxiety for Nothing

Imagine you plan to do something special for someone for a long time. You've been planning this for day, or months even. And then nothing goes according to plan. You fail. You have done nothing. 

How would you feel?

The following poem depicts how someone planned to put aside time to call someone on their birthday but then things didn't go as planned - the person couldn't pick up. 

All that Anxiety for Nothing:

Months before I planned this.

When my plans had miscalculations, I made sacrifices.

Months ago I planned this.

Months ago.

I made my preparations

Carefully, thoughtfully,

And I sat there waiting for the moment to come,

Sat there waiting with trepidation.

Heart beating fast for an hour,

Fear gripping my mind,

Thinking and overthinking every possibility in my head,

Shaking and imploding from within.

Yet by now I know

Nothing ever goes

According to plan,

Especially with you.

So of course I had a Plan B,

And of course I didn’t feel bad –

I shouldn’t… So why is it

That I still regret it not going as planned?

Ah, how I longed to hear your voice again.

How I longed to speak with you!

How I feared I might explode from happiness

When you said “Hello” again…

And I look back at the time I wasted,

Shaking and imagining worst-case scenarios

And I knew it was all in vain –

All that anxiety for nothing.

Yet I knew this gesture

Wasn’t about me – no, it’s you

Who I planned carefully and thoughtfully for,

To say Happy Birthday.

And even though the Plan B was to just text the birthday wishes and not be too bothered about this, you still felt sad you couldn't hear their voice again... Something you were really looking forward to...