The Edge of the Roof

The next two poems I post will be special. Both this one and the next poem are of similar settings but contrasting themes.

The Edge of the Roof is, as you could probably tell, a suicide poem. It's a poem describing how a person stood on the edge of the roof, ready to jump, and then thought of how his/her friends needed him/her and that alone made him/her step back and keep living, for the sake of his/her friends.

The Edge of the Roof:

The cold wind bites

Against my cheeks,

I feel the rush and

My thundering heartbeat.

Below I see the lights,

Below I see the traffic

Like ants made of neon

Colors that make me sick.

Streaks of red

And yellow and blue

And blinding white

And concrete hues.

And I see blood,

I see pain and suffering

And an ache to be

Someone worth living.

Feet on the edge of the roof.

Toes hanging over the edge.

Head lifted up to a blurry sky.

Seeking heaven off this ledge.

Who am I? What am I?

What have I done right?

What difference does my existence make

If I endure and sit tight?

What will they think?

How will they know –

The people who know me

Across the world?

What will they say?

I won’t be missed.

They’ll mourn for a while

My departure a bliss.

But those few friends

Who trust me –

What will happen to them?

What will they see?

A person they trusted,

A person they knew,

Abandoning them –

Now what will they do?

I thought of the girls

Who cried to me.

I thought of the boys

Who cried to me.

I thought of my friends

Who confided their pain

In me, who took it upon me

To comfort them in their strain.

They needed me.

I was there.

What will happen to them

Without my care?

I cannot be selfish,

I cannot leave.

I cannot jump

When friends need me.

If I can make a difference

To those few,

Then I’ll fight my tears

As I help them do.

One step back.

I’m off the ledge.

Two steps back.

Away from the edge.

Turn around, wipe my tears.

Take a deep breath,

Control the shaking and

The fears that are ever a threat.

Collapse if I must

On the cold rooftop,

Put myself together

As the dangerous thoughts stop.

Think of someone

And a fun time we shared

And from somewhere within

A strange laugh was spared.

A minute ago I was on the ledge,

Ready to end it all and go poof.

I was saved by thinking of my friends

On the edge of the roof.