From The Diary Of A Wounded Racehorse

This is a short piece requested by my friend B. Karthik (known to many as BK). The topic is how useless one feels when they can no longer run or jump or play the sports they love.

A break from the fast paced life...

Ever felt like a vegetable?

So useless because you can’t do anything at all?

You know how racehorses were shot in the old days when they broke a leg or had some injury that disabled them from running again?

I feel like those racehorses now. Except nobody is going to shoot me.

I used to fly, you know? I used to run and jump and play all kinds of sports. I was the guy who was down for any game, any time. I led teams to victory in games, and even when we didn’t win I always had a smile on my face. Little kids used to look up at me with awe and girls swooned over how much energy I had all the time. I always had fun. And I enjoyed every minute of it all.

But one day I realized my knee hurt. One of my knees started swelling. I thought it would go away in a day or two. It didn’t. I tried massaging it and stuff but it still hurt. After about two weeks I decided to go to the doctor and they told me something I wish I’d never heard.

“You have a meniscus tear in your knee.”

A meniscus tear is a common knee injury. The meniscus is a rubbery, C-shaped disc that cushions your knee. Each knee has two menisci (plural of meniscus)-one at the outer edge of the knee and one at the inner edge. The menisci keep your knee steady by balancing your weight across the knee. A torn meniscus can prevent your knee from working right.

A meniscus tear is usually caused by twisting or turning quickly, often with the foot planted while the knee is bent. Meniscus tears can occur when you lift something heavy or play sports. As you get older, your meniscus gets worn. This can make it tear more easily.

“You might need surgery,” the doctor said.

I went home and thought about it. I talked it over (and over) with my parents.

Finally we found a way to cure me without surgery. Physiotherapy.

And so now here I am, slowly recovering and my knee healing, but strictly restricted from running and playing. Not even cycling.

I feel useless. I feel like there is no purpose to my life until I can get back out there on the open ground.

People offer me sympathy – but I want no sympathy. I want my knee to heal as soon as possible so I can feel alive again. I want to feel like I can fly again.

But right now, all I can do is rest. It’s boring. So boring I feel like someone should just shoot me like the useless race horse that I am now.

I’m not stupid, though. I’m going to hold on and rest for now. I look out my window at all my friends playing and dream of joining them.

Mark my words. The day I finally make a full recovery, I’ll go out there and play twice as hard as ever before. Mark my words.

Hope you liked it! And I hope you could understand the feelings I was trying to recreate and convey!